Woman “confused and emotionally hurt” after learning 5-mile road not 5 miles long

A local woman has been left confused, disappointed and emotionally hurt after learning the five-mile road is in fact not 5 miles long.

The woman, a St. Clement resident, explained the impact of her discovery to The Daily Crapaud.

“This news has honestly flipped my world upside down. Why is it not five miles long? Why would it be called the five-mile road, if it wasn’t five miles in length? Next thing you’re gonna tell me is it’s not even a bloody road!”

“It is a road, right?”

The five-mile road, which hilariously runs for just over three miles along the Island’s west coast, dominates almost the entire length of St. Ouen’s bay and crosses through three of Jersey’s twelve Parishes.

When we told the woman that the road is actually called Le Route de Mielle – and that the colloquial name ‘five-mile road’ is a reference to the distance between Corbiere and L’Etacq – she became even more dejected.

“So now what? Its real name isn’t even the five-mile road?” she asked despairingly, pouring herself a large glass of wine.

“Are you gonna tell me Long Beach is actually very short…and not a beach? Or that Green Island is actually purple?”

“I…I just don’t don’t know what’s even real anymore” she sobbed.